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Investing In Myself: An Inexpensive On-line Course

Growing up, my dad was forced to work alongside my grandfather building things - like additions to their small rural home, a small church, and I’m sure a number of other things. My dad always explained to me that he did not always love it, but he learned skills that were very valuable for him as an adult. This is why he would force me to work alongside him when he was fixing things around the house and occasionally building things - furniture, a bar in the basement, a rabbit cage, a clubhouse for me.

At first, I didn’t usually love it, but sometimes I kinda liked it - more so the building, than the fixing. But now, as my dad intended, I know how to do a few things. So friends and family are often impressed that I know how to fix basic things around the house, and make simple things for myself - a desk, a rolling cart, easels, panels to paint on. If it involves wood, right angles, glue, screws or nails, I can probably build it or figure out how it’s done. Most of my creations are basic, but I think they’re cool, and people seem to agree.

A few months ago, while out having beers with a friend, I noticed a coffee table where we were seated, and thought to myself, “I want to make coffee tables” (I especially wanted to make them from odd or reclaimed materials). A month or so later, I got to paint a big picnic table for the Immersive Van Gogh exhibit. Seeing the finished product made me really want to get into furniture design and embellishment.

Painted Van Gogh quotes on table at Immersive Van Gogh Exhibition

Last week, I came across an online course that teaches Professional Woodworking for Beginners. I signed up as a small investment in myself. My goal is to watch the videos and share some aspect of my experience on Patreon. I might just talk about. Maybe recording something I work on. Maybe pics of a finished product. But however this works out, I want to share my progress with you.

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Take A Brief Pause

A month (or two) ago, a friend invited me to go hiking at this trail at South Mountain State Park - about an hour outside of Charlotte, NC where I live. I don’t often do the hiking thing, but I do enjoy nature when I’m forced to be in it. I enjoy times where I can just pause and enjoy life without pressure.

It felt so good to be in nature. To walk. To smell fresh air. To watch natural things grow, and be consumed by natural processes. It was a treat to have inspired conversation with a friend, and talk about growth, and goals while exerting effort to walk up a mountain.

It feels so good to disconnect from all of the made up constructs that occupy our time in the world. Getting away from screens, and traffic, and housing developments, and jobs! Just being able to enjoy the things that exist! Things that work at their own pace. Things that aren’t on anyone else’s time. Things that just BE. Just ARE. That’s ultimately what I want to be. Someone who understands my inherent value, and learns to show up fully, and be valuable as I am. It’ll be a while, but I’m working on it.

Enjoy the pics!

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Test Drive Your Dreams

It was recently brought to my attention that I really don’t allow myself to get excited about much. I protect myself from disappointment, by keeping my expectations low. Too often, I live my life being comfortable with the bare minimum. It is infrequent that I think in terms of possibilities and excitement. Part of this is a personal coping mechanism that I have perfected. Also, growing up, I got a lot of messaging telling me this was somehow virtuous. But I see that it has not only steered me away from living a life that reflects what I feel I am capable of, but it also steers me toward self-destructive behavior.

Unlearn behaviors…  STOP limiting yourself.

Unlearn behaviors… STOP limiting yourself.

I need to allow myself to be excited by the possibilities in life! With childlike excitement, I want to get back to imagining the most amazing version of my life, and the things in it. I know that part of what will help me do this, is making a point to identify what I want, and visualizing it. In a few areas of my life, I have already experienced how having a “compelling vision” for my life creates excitement, and helps me overcome the fear of change, fear of disappointment, fear of failure, fear of success. Being able to see clearly - in my mind’s eye - exactly what it is that I want, has made it incredibly easy for me to progress in new directions.

Another thing that I’ve realized is that I don't have to be able to fully actualize my dreams before I can have a taste of things I want. It reminds me of a test drive, or an open house. These experiences are excellent selling tools, because they get ALL of your senses involved. When you test drive a car, or walk through a staged model home, you are being exposed to as much sensory information as possible. Being able to experience the thing makes it more real, and intensifies your desire for it! Not only do you get to feel the experience, you can decide whether it’s really what you expected it to be, or if you need to tweak it in certain ways to make it perfect for you. Contrary to popular belief, I’m learning that nothing has to be an eternal commitment. And I can experience the thrill of an experience well before I am able to achieve it in its fullest form. I can stay in various hotels and Airbnb’s to see exactly what amenities, layouts, and locations bring me the most joy and pleasure. I can test drive my dream car to see if it handles the way I like, or what features give me a thrill. I can have clarity on which parts of experiences bring me pleasure, and what things diminish my enjoyment.

I have decided to Test Drive My Dreams. I’m compiling a list of things that I’ve always wanted to do, and I’m also making notes of small ways to taste the experiences I want to have. It will help me get clear about what I really want, and it will give me the satisfaction of experiencing my dreams today - instead of deferring them until I’m in a completely different place financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

I intend to share some of these experiences here, so I hope you will follow along with the journey. Perhaps you will be inspired to Test Drive Your Dreams as well!

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I AM ALREADY ENOUGH...

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Note to Self:

I am abundant in my ability to create Value.

  • I have enough materials

  • I have enough ideas

  • I have enough connections

  • I have enough energy

  • There are infinite possibilities I don’t even know about

  • I have enough knowledge to get started

  • I have enough intelligence to ask good questions

  • I have an abundant capacity to learn

  • I have enough help

  • I have the capacity to ask for more help

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Smelling The Roses

When I first picked up a camera, I did what I could without the assistance of others - I walked around and took pictures of anything that seemed interesting.

Living in East Orange, NJ, I would start in my neighborhood, go toward Newark or New York City, and photograph whatever caught my interest along the way. I would take pictures of cracks in the sidewalk, dilapidated walls, neglected buildings , foliage growing out of unexpected places, rusty mailboxes, and sometimes random people on the street. I photographed things that inspired me, like graffiti, odd phrases, or things that seemed to have a different meaning when I could isolate them from their surroundings.

As I worked to develop my skills photographing people, my photographs of inanimate objects got neglected, when really the strength of my people photography, is that I “objectify” my subjects, I photograph them as if they were beautiful, interesting objects.
I came to realize that really, what feeds my soul is focusing my photographic eye on textures and forms, and the neighborhood photowalks are really something that I miss.

More recently, I realized that, for me, photography is a way to slow life down. As the years go buy, looking back through my photographs helps me remember “where the time has gone.” It reminds me of moments and places I’ve seen but forgotten. It reminds me of people I’ve met. It reminds me of venues and communities that no longer exist. It reminds me of relationships I’ve enjoyed with people, good times I’ve had.

In a way that is similar to how smells can trigger memories, photographs - even the ones of simple things, help me recall experiences and places that I had forgotten. Having more memories makes life feel full again. It feels less like my life is speeding past me.

It is very satisfying to use my camera to “stop and smell the roses".

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Her Name Means "LOVE".

“Cool…. Just like her… syncopated cacophony. Powerful, bold, smooth, pushing boundaries, beauty!”  - Karen Young

“Cool…. Just like her… syncopated cacophony. Powerful, bold, smooth, pushing boundaries, beauty!”
- Karen Young

IFE - While capturing the beauty of this bold and radiant young woman, I asked a few questions about her passion for dance.

Why is dance magical?
Dance is magical because it transcends the physicality of the dancer. To see someone dance is to experience their truths, histories, identities, epistemology. It is raw, organic and unforgiving.

What impact do you want to have on the dance community?
I want to provide access and professional opportunities to/within the arts, especially for black and brown bodies.

Who is your favorite famous dancer?
Currently, my favorite choreographers are Parris Goebel and Chris Gayle.

Who is your favorite local dancer?
Locally, my favorite is LeDarius Parker (Greensboro).

What Opportunities have come with being a full-figured dancer?
Opportunities that have been pre-professional work, attending the inaugural MFA Dance Program at Duke University, running my own company that travels and performs showcasing physical inclusivity in dance, teaching - getting to guide people to a fuller version of self.

What myths would you like to dispel for full-figured dancers?
Plus-size/full-figured women are able to do whatever the fuck they want to do! Intentionally. Confidently. And without need of approval.

See more of Ife here.

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A Handful of Flaws...

My goal is to read 12 books this year. So far, I’ve finished one book that I started in December, and I started a new book that I learned of from The Tim Ferris Show podcast. The book is The One Thing, and the author is Gary Keller, founder of Keller Williams Realty.
I may do a book report when I complete the book, but I wanted to share something that I thought was simple, and hopefully useful.

One of my goals this year is to read 12 books. Maybe I should do Book Reports.

One of my goals this year is to read 12 books. Maybe I should do Book Reports.

Typically, with self-improvement, I strive to focus on building new positive habits, and the books drops some gems about making it easier to build good habits. But this sentence struck me in an interesting way:
“A pioneer of quality-control management, [Joseph M.] Juran had noticed that a handful of flaws would usually produce a majority of the defects.”

The focus of the chapter was basically, the Pareto Principle, efforts, and results, but this sentence struck me, because it got me thinking in the opposite way I’m usually working.

If a handful of flaws produced a majority of the defects, what if in life, we first aimed to set up little actions or systems to eliminate the habits that don’t serve us? For me, a lot of times I try to develop a useful habit that may be difficult to train, but what if instead, I first worked on ways to make it hard for me to make certain bad decisions.

Examples:
- SPENDING LESS TIME ON MY PHONE is a worthy goal, but what if I 1.) Buy a watch (My Father would be happy to hear this, which will be a blog post when I buy a watch). A watch would help because right now, I have to pick up my phone to keep track of time. 2.) Only put the interesting apps on my iPad (which stays in my studio) 3.) Keep magazines in the bathroom (so i have something to look at other than Instagram)
- DRINKING A GALLON OF WATER DAILY would be nice, but what if I bought Sparking Water or tea (which, for me, makes it easier to drink less beer.)

And perhaps I’m just thinking about it in reverse, but the thought is, if I first focus on making it harder to make bad decisions, significant improvements can come before I’ve accomplished the challenging work of building a “positive” habit. And perhaps that improvement can give the momentum to build better habits. I’ll give it a shot and let you know how it’s going.

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The Hunt For Inspiration

Something I haven't been doing nearly enough lately... Photo Walks. A great way to just take in my environment, see things with fresh eyes, and capture images of things that fascinate me. I quickly pass by so many things that capture my interest, without 'stopping to smell these "roses"'. Today while in Atlanta, I did a bit of walking with my camera, and here's what I found. I'll spend this evening sketching ideas these images inspire, and hopefully, I'll see these things find their way into my creative process.