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Ribbonwalk Nature Reserve

I am trying to think of things that would be good, or extremely uncomfortable to enjoy alone.

This week, I leaned more heavily toward good. I decided to get out into nature. I do enjoy hiking, but I rarely go hiking, and never hiking alone. So I did something to change that. I looked at what areas there are in Charlotte to hike, and narrowed it down to Ribbonwalk Nature Reserve.. It was easy to get to, a decent length to hike, and when I looked at pics online, it looked a little creepy, but not overwhelmingly so.

It was an extremely hot day, and I’m not going to go into why I didn’t have water on me, but the canopy of trees kept me sufficiently cool that I wasn’t on the verge of dehydration or heat stroke.

I checked out the trail courses before I went in, which was somewhat helpful, but not quite as helpful as I pretended it was going to be. Apparently, the first trail I went down, wasn’t even a trail, as much as an unofficial path that enough souls had cut through, so as to keep greenery from growing on it.

As I walked, I took pictures, and asked myself, “Why am I out here?” The most satisfying answer I came up with was “To be here and enjoy the fresh air.” And I did. And I also noticed some familiar thoughts coming to me. An ex-girlfriend used to love to go to the beach in the off-season - usually, the first week of December, and I used to love that trip because it was too cold to get in the water. So it was a great time to do nothing but rest and reflect.
When I would actually go outside, and sit by the beach, I would enjoy just observing the waves crash, reflecting on what I was seeing. The consistent thought that hits me in natural environments is that nothing is trying to impress. Everything is just a tiny part of a big ecosystem. It doesn’t have any grandiose purpose. It just shows up, and does it’s work. A wave is not a wave, but a bunch of water droplets moving in the same direction carrying all kinds of things to and fro. A tree doesn’t go anywhere. It blooms where it is “planted”, and just grows. Its leaves purify the air. It feeds on things. Things feed on it. And then it dies. Bugs burrow in the decaying logs Fungi show up to break it down, and it fertilizes the next beautiful thing that will grow. It just does its job. And it’s impressive. I’m not sure what the best tree is. I wouldn’t event think to call one more important than another, or have a metric to decide that. In nature, things just are. Things just do. And they are beautiful. And they are impressive. A lesson.

So I enjoyed my hike. I look forward to doing it more. If I actually go hiking, then I can honestly tell people, I love hiking, and can make plans to go more and be social about it. I haven’t decided what my next artist date is, but I’ll figure it out soon. I do plan to go to Carowinds by myself, and possibly a brewery tour, but I don’t think these will be the next excursions. I’ll just keep you posted.

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Investing In Myself: An Inexpensive On-line Course

Growing up, my dad was forced to work alongside my grandfather building things - like additions to their small rural home, a small church, and I’m sure a number of other things. My dad always explained to me that he did not always love it, but he learned skills that were very valuable for him as an adult. This is why he would force me to work alongside him when he was fixing things around the house and occasionally building things - furniture, a bar in the basement, a rabbit cage, a clubhouse for me.

At first, I didn’t usually love it, but sometimes I kinda liked it - more so the building, than the fixing. But now, as my dad intended, I know how to do a few things. So friends and family are often impressed that I know how to fix basic things around the house, and make simple things for myself - a desk, a rolling cart, easels, panels to paint on. If it involves wood, right angles, glue, screws or nails, I can probably build it or figure out how it’s done. Most of my creations are basic, but I think they’re cool, and people seem to agree.

A few months ago, while out having beers with a friend, I noticed a coffee table where we were seated, and thought to myself, “I want to make coffee tables” (I especially wanted to make them from odd or reclaimed materials). A month or so later, I got to paint a big picnic table for the Immersive Van Gogh exhibit. Seeing the finished product made me really want to get into furniture design and embellishment.

Painted Van Gogh quotes on table at Immersive Van Gogh Exhibition

Last week, I came across an online course that teaches Professional Woodworking for Beginners. I signed up as a small investment in myself. My goal is to watch the videos and share some aspect of my experience on Patreon. I might just talk about. Maybe recording something I work on. Maybe pics of a finished product. But however this works out, I want to share my progress with you.

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Beauty Changes

“I’m looking at [the images from our photo session]… I wish I could lay on myself and take a nap. I look squishy plump and soft, and I just want to go to sleep on my belly.“

Our body is a vessel that carries us through life, and there is something spectacular about being able to look at ourselves and enjoy the journey we’ve been on, and the vessel that got us here. To see in our physical, a revelation of our circumstances, our habits, and our experiences.

There is something beautiful about relaxing in who we are. Accepting ourselves. Not meaning that we don’t need to make changes. Just meaning we are not overly harsh with ourselves, understanding that everyday we are who we are. We are enough today, and by how we choose to use today, we can be even better tomorrow.
And truthfully, there are some ways we won’t necessarily be “better” tomorrow. Just different.
But hopefully, that reminds us that there are more things to focus on than just our physical appearance.


When I stand naked in the mirror, and allow myself to see myself clearly, I am exposed. I am reminded of who I am. I am reminded that there are things I can control, and things I cannot.
They say beauty “fades”. I disagree.
I think beauty just “changes”.

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Take A Brief Pause

A month (or two) ago, a friend invited me to go hiking at this trail at South Mountain State Park - about an hour outside of Charlotte, NC where I live. I don’t often do the hiking thing, but I do enjoy nature when I’m forced to be in it. I enjoy times where I can just pause and enjoy life without pressure.

It felt so good to be in nature. To walk. To smell fresh air. To watch natural things grow, and be consumed by natural processes. It was a treat to have inspired conversation with a friend, and talk about growth, and goals while exerting effort to walk up a mountain.

It feels so good to disconnect from all of the made up constructs that occupy our time in the world. Getting away from screens, and traffic, and housing developments, and jobs! Just being able to enjoy the things that exist! Things that work at their own pace. Things that aren’t on anyone else’s time. Things that just BE. Just ARE. That’s ultimately what I want to be. Someone who understands my inherent value, and learns to show up fully, and be valuable as I am. It’ll be a while, but I’m working on it.

Enjoy the pics!

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Simple Things

‘I like big mugs, and I cannot lie…”

‘I like big mugs, and I cannot lie…”

The irony of buying a Dunkin Donuts mug in order to encourage the habit of making my own coffee in the morning.

It’s amazing how much this small step - of making my own coffee in the morning empowers me. Dunkin Donuts is walking distance from my house, so the simple “chore” of making sure I have the few ingredients to make a cup of coffee requires a certain amount of discipline.

As I get older, I get more and more frustrated paying for things and not getting exactly what I want.
Occasionally, my coffee isn’t what I want it to be. Too sweet, to weak, too much cream. How are we getting this wrong? The person behind the counter may care about their job, but they don’t really care about my coffee. And while I generally think they make a great cup of coffee, it’s not perfectly the way I want my coffee to be.

That makes me think, with a little effort, I can always have the PERFECT cup of coffee!
So what does that taste like?

The thought that with some effort, I can create things EXACTLY as I want them is fueling me to be more disciplined about creating routines. Giving thought to the simple powers I have in my life makes ponder in what ways can I take control, and make my life EXACTLY as I want it to be?

My Dunkin Donuts mug is perfect. As will be the coffee I make and pour into it every morning.

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Test Drive Your Dreams

It was recently brought to my attention that I really don’t allow myself to get excited about much. I protect myself from disappointment, by keeping my expectations low. Too often, I live my life being comfortable with the bare minimum. It is infrequent that I think in terms of possibilities and excitement. Part of this is a personal coping mechanism that I have perfected. Also, growing up, I got a lot of messaging telling me this was somehow virtuous. But I see that it has not only steered me away from living a life that reflects what I feel I am capable of, but it also steers me toward self-destructive behavior.

Unlearn behaviors…  STOP limiting yourself.

Unlearn behaviors… STOP limiting yourself.

I need to allow myself to be excited by the possibilities in life! With childlike excitement, I want to get back to imagining the most amazing version of my life, and the things in it. I know that part of what will help me do this, is making a point to identify what I want, and visualizing it. In a few areas of my life, I have already experienced how having a “compelling vision” for my life creates excitement, and helps me overcome the fear of change, fear of disappointment, fear of failure, fear of success. Being able to see clearly - in my mind’s eye - exactly what it is that I want, has made it incredibly easy for me to progress in new directions.

Another thing that I’ve realized is that I don't have to be able to fully actualize my dreams before I can have a taste of things I want. It reminds me of a test drive, or an open house. These experiences are excellent selling tools, because they get ALL of your senses involved. When you test drive a car, or walk through a staged model home, you are being exposed to as much sensory information as possible. Being able to experience the thing makes it more real, and intensifies your desire for it! Not only do you get to feel the experience, you can decide whether it’s really what you expected it to be, or if you need to tweak it in certain ways to make it perfect for you. Contrary to popular belief, I’m learning that nothing has to be an eternal commitment. And I can experience the thrill of an experience well before I am able to achieve it in its fullest form. I can stay in various hotels and Airbnb’s to see exactly what amenities, layouts, and locations bring me the most joy and pleasure. I can test drive my dream car to see if it handles the way I like, or what features give me a thrill. I can have clarity on which parts of experiences bring me pleasure, and what things diminish my enjoyment.

I have decided to Test Drive My Dreams. I’m compiling a list of things that I’ve always wanted to do, and I’m also making notes of small ways to taste the experiences I want to have. It will help me get clear about what I really want, and it will give me the satisfaction of experiencing my dreams today - instead of deferring them until I’m in a completely different place financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.

I intend to share some of these experiences here, so I hope you will follow along with the journey. Perhaps you will be inspired to Test Drive Your Dreams as well!

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Body Of Clay f/Kendy

I love photographing nudity as an extension of nature!
Reading some elementary school info about why dirt is so important (and beautiful) took me back to my shoot with Kendy.

“Dirt, or soil, is a mix of eroded rock, mineral nutrients, rotting organic matter, water, air and lots and lots of small living organisms.

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Looking closely at dirt, not all dirt is the same. If you cut down into the soil, you would see many layers. 

The topsoil layer is made up of rotting organic matter from the litter layer and minerals from rocks that are weathering and breaking down over time into little bits. The rotting organic matter helps the soil hold water so it is good for growing plants. In turn, growing plant roots anchor the topsoil and keep it from being blown and washed away by weather.

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The top two layers are very important to life on Earth. They are full of living things like earthworms, insects, fungi and bacteria. Every inch of soil is full of living things. One scoop of soil can have millions of bacteria and other helpful microorganisms that are busy decomposing leaf litter into usable nutrients. The nutrients dissolve in the water in the soil and the trees and plants suck them up into their roots and use them to grow.

The most fertile soil is dark and crumbly and looks a lot like a rich chocolate cake.

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Dirt is the very base of life on Earth because it has most of the important nutrients in which plants need to grow. Those plants in turn feed animals and us. So really, the nutrients in the soil will someday end up in you!

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CHD:WCK! X HOLLIS AUSTIN 2018

(NSFW)
I’ve been sitting on this way too long!

HOLLIS AUSTIN is an amazing lettering artist and sign painter, currently based in New Orleans, LA. Back in late 2018, when we were studio mates, Hollis decided to make some fun, affordable, wearable art for those who would be passing by her studio during an event. She hand-painted a bunch of fun phrase necklaces, and when I saw them, I just knew I had to photograph them draped ALL over a voluptuous nude figure.

Below is the result. I hope you enjoy!

Check out more of Hollis’ work at www.austinlettering.com

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OVER-EAGER ABOUT WHAT?!

I have had interactions in real life where I run into people I haven’t seen or heard from in years, and they’ll say to me, “I’m loving what you’re sharing on (social media platform) with (insert recent creative projects…).”
I’ve also heard friends express fear of telling someone how much they love their work, stating “I don’t want to seem weird.” And I think to myself, ‘Weird about what? This person does a thing, and they share it with the world. You genuinely love it! Why would that be weird?’
So on Instagram, I decided to pose a question:

”Do you ever feel like enthusiastically telling someone how much you like what they do, makes you look over-eager?”

When the poll ended, with 80 people responding, nearly 60% percent said that they felt strange about expressing honest love or appreciation for people’s work. While I suspected I might get this response, it hurt me to the core.

WHY? If you genuinely love what someone does, why wouldn’t they want to know that? Most creatives regularly fluctuate between a reasonable level of confidence to crippling self-doubt. Western Society is especially guilty of undervaluing the importance of music, visual art, and literature. While we constantly consume these things and refer to them as our culture, we discourage people for pursuing their passions to contribute in these areas. Corporate Executives make a living exploiting the work of creatives, while encouraging the labeling of creatives as “Starving Artists”. Even many successful artists regularly struggle over whether they should continue, whether what they’re doing is worth all the hard work that goes into it.

PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!!!
If someone is doing something, and it makes you feel good, you think it’s done beautifully, or you see it as valuable, PLEASE LET THEM KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT! Knowing that we’re doing something that matters helps keep artists going. Most artists create because something internal compels them to create something they may personally NEED to see. They share their work in hopes that others connect with it as well, and perhaps people will purchase the works, which will enable them to keep creating from an honest space.

The importance of an artists work is not always reflected in sales. But knowing that people appreciate the work being made gives an artist fuel to continue investing in themselves, to continue being vulnerable and honest with the world, and to continue sharing the beauty they create! Never feel weird in telling someone how much you appreciate what they do!

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I AM ALREADY ENOUGH...

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Note to Self:

I am abundant in my ability to create Value.

  • I have enough materials

  • I have enough ideas

  • I have enough connections

  • I have enough energy

  • There are infinite possibilities I don’t even know about

  • I have enough knowledge to get started

  • I have enough intelligence to ask good questions

  • I have an abundant capacity to learn

  • I have enough help

  • I have the capacity to ask for more help

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